Took a little vacation – but I’m back with a ton of stuff I want to share! But before I do that, I really want to do this real quick:

If you watched the superbowl, you may have seen this commercial: https://youtu.be/DXusraO9dCI 

For those of you that don’t want to click, it is the commercial for the Naked Chicken Chalupa from Taco Bell. It’s a commercial that promoted something that KFC did years ago – substitute fried chicken for something that isn’t fried chicken. KFC did it with the double-down – substituting the bread of a sandwich with two fried boneless chicken breasts. If anyone out there hates themselves as much as I might, you may have tried the double-down, and maybe immediately went back to KFC afterwards, and bought 2 more because you truly wanted to gamble with your life as the name of the sandwich alludes. Then maybe you woke up the next day and decided that you need to just swear off going to KFC ever again because you know you’ll be dead in a years’ time if you go back.

So, you can imagine that hypothetical version of me’s excitement when they saw the commercial for this new treat from taco bell.

I wasn’t beating down every blockade in my way to go and get one of these chalupas by any means, but about a week or so later, when I found myself picking up Taco Bell for my wife, I saw the $5 box that was built around the Naked Chicken Chalupa and said ‘fuck it’ and ordered one.

So that’s what I ended up with, and If you’d rather develop your own opinion, do not read anymore, and just go get one.

Ok

So this thing was terrible. What made the double down so successful was that the chicken was juicy and delightful. This was about as unsatisfying as chicken fries from Burger King. I guess I expected something other than cheese, lettuce tomatoes and sauce on the inside. I heard you can add beef for 50 cents, but what the heck! This thing was a folded up chicken flavored frisbee. There was one bite that kind of tasted ok, and that’s simply because it was the one bite that contained a sufficient amount of sauce to compensate for the textural disaster I was experiencing.

I’m sorry Taco Bell, I’m not dogging this chalupa because I’m a Western New Yorker and want to honor the local chain “Mighty Taco”. They have their whole set of problems – delicious terrible problems that I order 5 or 6 at a time… This thing was a bust. I had a friend get one that was a little fresher, but she also said it was a garbage experience…

Bravo on capitalizing on America’s hatred for their own bodies – which is to blame for the Baconator’s success, amongst the many ‘challenge’ menu items at various restaurants in our nation, I’m sure the stock went up a few clicks, and who knows – I’m sure there are people out there that like terrible fried chicken, that might keep this thing on the menu long enough to actually help you recoup your costs for a SuperBowl ad.

Me? I’m good.